The Socceroos juggernaut grinds to a miserable halt

SMEF · Super Spammer Joined: Jan 09, 2005 Posts: 1556

Dateline June 27th, 2006

The Socceroos march faltered to a spluttering halt today, due to unbelievable incompetence.

Not their own, you understand, far from it.

In the latest scandal to rock the World Cup campaign for 2006, it was revealed that the Spanish referee, Manuel, from Barcelona, was only recently awarded the coveted FIFA certification. It has been uncovered that Manuel was awarded the position only due to pressure from a Spanish collective for the long term unemployed, after losing his last job in a Torquay (UK) hotel circa 1979. After several unsuccessful applications for umpiring Under 15's netball, Table Tennis and Monopoly, and being evicted from several local children's chess clubs and most recently being beaten half to death after adjudicating at a trivia night in Chipping Norton, Manuel found a loophole in the FIFA charter for referees. After concerns voiced over the small number of English - speaking referees, Manuel was heard to claim: "Hai spik Henglish verry gude, Hai lern it from a book".. The rest, as they say his history.

Manuel's competence as The Man in The Centre was not enough to ensure victory for the Italians, however.

After being outplayed and held scoreless by a team previously rated some 1,434th in the world standings, just between the Gibraltar Primary School XI and Bolton Wanderers, frustrated Italian management bought on the talented Fabio "The Most Fabulous Man in the Universe" Grosso. Fresh from a three month stint at Teatro Augusteo, as understudy to famed Oscar winning Italian actor and director Roberto Benigni, Grosso went straight to work in the Falling Down department. His hard work and perseverance paid off in the 93rd minute, some 6 seconds before the final curtain - rather, the final whistle.
Grosso's outstanding display of Falling Down in the Falling Down Area was rewarded with another Oscar nomination, a BAFTA award, an Emmy and a Penalty. Italian tenor Francesco "Hot" Totti made no mistake with the last kick of the game, ensuring Italy's passage to the next round.

Australian Captain Mark Viduka was heard to mutter dejectedly "Bugger ! what a way to lose. That's two bets I've lost on now, I got 140 to one for a win by Croatia, and I cannot bloody believe I lost again".
Superstar and hero of the previous loss, Harry Kewell, was heard to say "Ee oop, ah wouldn't have got T'missus in and injured me groin, if ah'd thort we'd of 'ad a Canary's chance in a Cat show of beating the EyeTies. Fair Dinkum, ah were reet proud of T'lads. OI ! Get yer 'and off me Lager, yer pack of jam-stained ferrets. Oo, Feck, Ah've dropped me feckin' wallet on me fute.That's gooin ter smart, while the morra."

Australian coach Guus Hiddink said his players were sure there was no foul on the final play, was disappointed, but was looking forward to the weather in Trinidad & Tobago.

SMEF · Super Spammer Joined: Jan 09, 2005 Posts: 1556

munchkin21

the italians do dive alot....but they won!! so wot Tongue

munchkin21

How'd they cheat?! They won fair and square. In my opinion it was Zidane that lost the French the game. He definately would have been one of the shooters in the shoot out and there was a 99% chance that he would have scored a goal. This could have changed the entire outcome of the game, possibly resulting in the french winning. But no, he decided to headbutt Materazzi and get himself a red card and thrown out of the game. His last game of his entire career as an amazing soccer player....idot *rolls her eyes* ...but yeah, italy won fair and square Tongue

Dkw_PT

It was no penalty, and Italy would b out of the WorldCup far back gone, and we would have a diferent world champion by now. The socceroos were robbed yes. Thou they did esplendid, and they deserved better, in my opinion.

Someway, the hidden powers tryed also to remove Portugal on the match against Holland, that become one of the matchs for the History of the WorldCups. Thnxfully we managed to keep our score dispite all the dificulties we faced during that game. Portugal made 10 fouls in the match and received 9 yellow cards, almost a card for a faul. I didnt liked that game while i seen it but now, i think.. what a game.

But, i think the WorldCup in Korea/Japan was alot worse in what concerns lousy refering.

Aussie_Woman

I don't follow the game but I did catch the news and what they showed was disgraceful as far as a world cup goes.
The Aussie's had a chance just like every other team but no chance when the refs arn't fair.
Take the Aussie's first game against Japan when Japan scored a goal even though the ball was touched. The ref admitted he was wrong after the game. The game against Brazil was pitiful again..... These were some coments after the Aus Vs Brazil game

Reserve Australia goalkeeper Zeljko Kalac had one word to describe the refereeing.

"Terrible, terrible, terrible," Kalac said, adding that the officials were intimidated by Brazil.

"I think so, I think they all are. You touch them (Brazil) and they go down and it's a foul straight away," Kalac said.

Defender Scott Chipperfield said the Socceroos were frustrated.

"(Mark) Viduka was fouled a lot whereas, at the other end, Adriano was doing very much the same thing but was getting away with it," Chipperfield said. "When you play against the top teams, the decisions don't usually go your way."

Daimos

There were many wrong ref decisions during this world cup. The main problem was, that the FIFA selected them mainly depending on their physical condition, not their ref abilities.

munchkin21

shadster wrote:

1: its FOOTBALL, football is the international word for it , hence F.I.F.A. (Federation Internationale de Football Association)

2: I said they cheated in the Australia game, which they truely did (see above pic, credits = SMEF) Tongue

3: Penalties = Lucky, if you win on penalties.. you didnt deserve to win cos you shoulda done that in 90mins

4: being a man light has 0% impact on the penalty shoot out as the other team too has to remove a man from the line up

thanks for paying attention Tongue

1. soccer, soccer, SOCCER Tongue

2. I missed that part, thought you meant the final

3. I agree 100% that there should be no shootouts, it's unfair, they should play until a winner is determined. I think they should bring back the golden goal rule.

4. I didn't say they were a man short in the shootout, I merely stated that Zidane would have been one of the shooters, would have scored, and that could have possibly changed the outcome of the game.

/me waits for the retort Tongue

Daimos

football, bloody Austro-Canadians Tongue

Aussie_Woman

We call it Soccer too Munchkin..... SOCCEROOS